I’m Gonna Pop Some Squats, Only Got 20 Dollaz In My Pocket

The only time a baby should be in a restroom stall is when the prom queen has reached the end of her third trimester.

Not when I’m trying to pop a squat.


Dear Co-Worker

Thank you for taking an epically massive shit in our staff breakroom/ restroom while I tried to enjoy my cinnamon raisin oatmeal.

By the way, if you don’t want us to know that you’re doing the Big D, maybe you shouldn’t stop and pick up the paper towels to take with you in order to clean up the evidence. Pick up some gloves, a toilet wand, and some Clorox to do the job.


The Staff Member Giving You Side Eye All Damn Day, Everyday.