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The Uncanny SeX-Men

The timing couldn’t be any better on this.

Only in Jersey

Whilst composing this blog, I stumbled upon this story about a Senior Citizen complex that was not only running drugs, but HOSTING A PROSTITUTION RING. AMONGST THE TENANTS.

That’s just a giant senior citizen orgy.

Crap. Why did I type that? Though I can undo the sentence, I can’t undo the image in my minds eye. So I’m leaving it. Not the image. The sentence.

And yes, you have to suffer, too.

*insert hurling here*

That’s a segue. And so is this.

And it got me thankin’…(that’s ‘thinkin’ but I didn’t want to spell it correctly)… Did those Ladies of the Night (maybe I should call them Ladies of the Evening? Late Afternoon? You know they can’t stay up past 7:30 — no pun intended) bother to dress up for the occasion?  Use street names? Even though they probably knew each other?

Names, names, the magical fruit. The more interesting, the more potential customers. Wanted and unwanted.

Today, I met a woman who was trying to replace her library card.

In order to do such, it is required that your driver’s license, or some other form of valid photo identification, be shown.

This is the fun part: The names.

Her name was Phoenixx.

And she was old (but very sweet).

Like she’s been eligible for Social Security for over a decade old.

Didn’t look like an aging hooker. But hard times can do a body in.

And no, that extra “x” on her ID was not a typo. At least she didn’t look like a Phoenixx. (I really hate typing that extra “X”).

Her last name was comprised of a color and an animal combination.

All I could think of how much it looks and sounds like a name for a pornographic actor (or, if you want to political correct, actress) OR an amoral heroine in a comic book or graphic novel (ya ya, I know Phoenix is already taken with Jean Grey…but the combination on it’s own is just too wild to pass up).

We get a lot of people whose legal names could pass for porn names, or comic book villain/hero names.

Clearly, due to privacy issues, and you know, handling sensitive information (it’s kind of illegal to do…), I can’t reveal the interesting names I’ve come across. So let’s play a game!

(Stone or Metallic Element) First Name + (Human Appendage) Last Name = Lady or Gentleman of the Late Afternoon (Street) Name

(Mythical Animal, repeat the last letter of the animal two times maximum) First Name + (Color + Animal Combination, add an “e” to the end of that animals name) Last Name = Uncanny (Se)X-Men Name

An invitation has been extended to create your name with the aforementioned combinations.

Have fun!

Thanks for the memories, Phoenixx!


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